I am a long time Mariner with over 20 years experience of being on the water. I am a multi species angler, outdoors enthusiast who loves to share my stories and adventures with others.
As a new parent to your newborn baby, I bet you and your partner are putting lists together of all the family members you’ll need to visit and which one of those members should be first, 2nd, 3rd ect…
Well, what if I told you, that as commendable as that is, it’s not necessarily going to happen the way you plan it.
Just think about your entire plan from when you were thinking of having a baby (if it was planned at all) to now. How much planning did you do? And how many people can honestly say that every time they plan something it worked out exactly as planned lol?
Well not me, that’s for sure. But you know something? It’s totally fine that things work out the way they do.
For us planning to showcase our newborn to family members, was of course high on our priority list, however, when it comes right down to it, this can take months to do, unless everyone lives close by.
Our families are spread out all over, and the reality is, my partner had a c-section. Ehe is constantly exhausted, and moving around is uncomfortable, so we will get to our families when we can, and after my partner is healed and we have time. If your family wishes to come over for a visit that would make things much easier. The truth of the matter is, and I personally believe, if your family wants to make your child’s acquaintance soon after birth, then they should put forth the effort to make sure that happens.
It’s hard for new parents to get all the things ready even for a short trip to town for necessities let alone a long drive and a day away from the comforts of home.
This is going to be harder on the father as he will still have all kinds of energy and want to travel to showcase his newborn to family and friends. He won’t truly understand why his wife/partner doesn’t have his level of energy. Well fellas remember those last 9 long months, when your partner was super tired and had a serious lack of energy? That’s because her body took all her energy in creating your newest member of the family.
Now her body is working overtime in getting back to the way it was prior pregnancy. This can take the same 9 months for her to start feeling normal again. But wait, there’s more.
While your partner fights to get back to the pre pregnancy shape, she is also using a tone of energy to create milk in order for her to feed your child. (If she is breast feeding). Just think of a long day at work, no wait, think of the longest day at work you can remember! Ok remember it? Well then take that long day and think just how good ot felt when it was quitting time that day, but just as you think your about to go home, your boss says everyone has to stay for an additional 8 hours to help get the project completed. Well it’s that moment where you just feel absolutely drained and can’t do any more, that is how your partner feels every day for the first few months to up to a year after birth. Now would you want to pack up the car and put on that smile and make yourself look like you are ready to party when you feel that way? Probably not, just haserting a guess here.
In other words, if you would like to go on the occasional outing, probably close to home, or for a short visit, to showcase your newborn baby? And if you want your partner to have the energy and enthusiasm to do that, then I suggest putting all that extra energy you seem to have into doing the house work. Yup that’s right, tidy, clean, dishes, laundry, cooking dinner, changing diapers, take out the garbage, empty the diaper genie, cut the grass, and do the groceries.
If you still have to go to work and your not lucky enough to be on paternity for the first few months of the baby’s arrival then you’ll have to do that too and even get up at night to help feed the baby if you have the extra supply, or if your baby is on formula. If you can do all that, you may have a chance to have a partner with some extra energy to do some of the visiting that you so badly want to do.
Even if you’re able to do all of that remember your partner is still more exhausted than you are. Still don’t understand how that’s possible? You never will because we are men, and it’s impossible for us to truly understand.
This stage will not last forever, so don’t fret, however it will last for a while and you will be exhausted during this time.
The good thing is that visiting people, or having people visit you, takes time out of the day and gives you, your partner, and your child great stimulation and is on the inexpensive side of activities that can be done
The costs associated with showcasing your baby will vary pending on location. Obviously if you want to meet at a local restaurant or amusement park the costs will tend to increase significantly. On the flip side tho, if you decide to meet at a relatives house, chances are you and your family will be catered to and the only costs will be the cost of getting to the location and back again.
If you have any input on my blogs? I’d love to hear from you or leave a comment below
As new parents, and this includes you (new dads). You may be thinking that you’d like a few friends around that are in the same boat as you are, right?
For instance, you either just had a new baby and your friends either don’t have any kids yet or they have all had kids and your the late one to the party right?
Ok well with the pandemic still going on It is much harder these days for new parents to find social groups for other new parents, or parents to be. Most of the groups today have transitioned into online groups. This is a far cry from the social interaction of human contact that we “were” all accustomed to, nevertheless, we need to adapt with the times and do what we can to embrace this “new normal” way of life. It’s a strange time we live in for sure. But I don’t see things changing back to the way it was prior pandemic times.
If you are on social media, chances are you have a tone of old, and new, friends on there that you may, or may not have much contact with these days? But within those contacts you may be surprised to find that several of those people are going through the exact same thing you are going through. Maybe a few of the old acquaintances are having children at the moment? It’s worth having a look anyways.
This might just be the perfect time to try and reconnect with some old friends. Or, maybe there is a coworker, or your partners coworkers that might be having a baby at the same time.
All I’m saying is you may be surprised to see who within your social media group will be going through exactly what you’re going through.
So my suggestion for this blog post, is to have a pot luck gathering/meet and greet.
If you’re comfortable getting together with a few other couples, (and I suggest having a limit of about 5 or 6 couples, all with newborns between the ages of, 0 to 1yr) this will be a total of 10 to 12 adults, plus their kids at your place.
This is a fairly cheap way of getting to know a few different couples with small children. The day will be a little chaotic as a few youngsters will be hard to keep a handle on, it’s a good thing their parents will be there to keep an eye lol.
I would suggest that you try to hold this event between noon and 5pm as most parents will be exhausted and sleep deprived, so not only are you more likely to have people show up but people will be gone early enough for you to tidy up and get an early night yourself.
For the dads out there. If you are presented with an opportunity to attend one of these potlucks, I suggest that you go.
You may be pleasantly surprised at who you may meet. Sure there is a possibility you may not like anyone there, or maybe you’ll find a new mate to hang out with when momma sticks you with the kids so she can have a spa day. Oh and by the way, it’s called fathering and being a good partner lol.
It is perfectly acceptable at one of these gatherings to ask the host what you can bring if it’s not already implied to you when you RSVP, and, you can bring pre made (store bought ) items. Do not feel like you need to slave over a hot stove to bring something special , unless you really want to, you are busy enough already and it’s perfectly acceptable, and appreciated.
The cost for attending one of these potlucks will be around $10 to $15 per couple plus gas/ transport to get there and back.
If your hosting this gathering, then the cost tends to be a bit more. Bank on spending anywhere from $25 to $50 because you will likely be the one supplying burgers, propane, and because you’re the one hosting, you will likely feel more relaxed if you have some extras on hand for your guests, such as pop, water, ect… but don’t go overboard. Entertaining people is not really the goal here. You need to remember that you are co-hosting this in order to reconnect and also possibly meet other couples. Spending too much time entertaining them may result in a missed opportunity to mingle.
If you have any suggestions on potlucks that you’ve hosted, shoot me a message I’d love to hear how it went.
As new parents or new parents to be I know that many of us wonder what do you do with a newborn for fun?
Well to be honest for the first month or 2 I don’t think you really have much to worry about. You are both going to be very busy, from changing diapers, visiting close family members to showing off your newest member of the family, and doctors appointments, oh and not sleeping through the night, to catching up on sleep when you can, that you won’t have much time for anything else.
However, if you are one of those very efficient parents and or maybe just plain lucky, where your child sleeps through the night right from birth, and feeds on a schedule, isn’t at all fussy, and is essentially a perfect baby, then you may find yourself with some free time on your hands.
If your one of those lucky parents, then we can’t talk to each other anymore, lol just kidding, but count your self lucky.
Well if you have a newborn and are wondering
what to do in order to entertain your little one, the reality is, they are probably so stimulated by everything going on around them anyways, because absolutely everything is new to them, that they are already entertained. If you have the urge to get out and about it’s most likely because you are the one that needs some sort of stimulus?
Ok well the suggestions I will be making in my blogs over the next few years will be based on a week to week/ month to month basis. As our newborn grows I’ll share with you what works and doesn’t work for us and our family personally, to around age 5 anyway.
I will review local and relatively inexpensive activities, & businesses to try
Everyone has their own perspectives of what is expensive or not and some of the activities I’ll be mentioning will be free as well.
The purpose of this blog is to give my personal opinions and reviews, on local activities and experiences that my family experience over the first few years of life with our newborn.
So hold onto your hats because here is my first review.
Waddles apple picking (website link above), is just north of Kingston on Highway 15, approx 20 minutes drive from Kingston.
My partner and I decided we wanted to do something with our new baby boy. We are both active people and simply wanted to just, get out of the house for a bit.
Our son was about 10 days old. We decided to make a trip, after visiting with grandma, to go pick a few apples.
We looked online for the nearest (to us) apple picking spot and came up with Waddlles apple orchard. Since we had been to an apple picking farm around this time last year, called Cricklewood farms.
We decided to give this place a go this year as it was closer to home.
Well if I’m to be completely honest, I wasn’t super impressed. There was no corn maze or play area for kids or kid games like the other place had. The orchard it’s self seemed small, at least the area of it they had opened to the public. Most of the orchards they had was taped off as a no go zone for customers. The area they had opened had been picked heavily and was hard to fill the 20lb bag that we had to purchase prior to entering the orchard it’s self. The pathways were uneven and rutted, hard to walk over, especially with pushing a stroller, and, the grass was long which meant our concerns for ticks were apparent. The ground being uneven was an issue as my partner had just had a C-section and was sore as it was, the uneven ground made it that much more difficult for her to navigate .
I’m guessing they made people purchase the bags you are supposed to fill with the apples prior to entering the orchards, because if people saw the state of the trees, and terrain first, I’m guessing most people would have just turned around and left.
Ok now that the bad parts are out of the way, I’ll talk about the good part.
Going on this outing was something both of us were looking forward to do as a family. Especially after last years trip to Cricklewood farms. Here’s the link to their website. https://cricklewood.ca/
It was our first outdoor adventure with all three of us. The walk to the orchard from the parking lot was quite close which was good as my partner was in no shape to do any long hiking after her operation. The apples we did pick were delicious and after doing a quick comparison in price compared to the grocery stores prices. Sure they were a bit more expensive but not by any astronomical amounts. And the time we got to spend together as a family was memorable.
We didn’t have to be on any long walks around a huge orchard or corn maze, and we could spend as much or as little time in the orchard as we wanted. The pies and crumble we made together when we got home. were delicious, and again bringing my partner and I together with our newborn sleeping close by, creating yet another opportunity to do an activity together, Cooking.
Apple picking is a perfect outing and activity that a family with a newborn could do in order to get some bonding time, and some much needed exercise, Also it’s was a socially distant activity which makes for a great choice during the pandemic times.
The orchard we went to may not be my first choice to go, and if we do it again, I will make the trip to Brighton as we had a much better time there with more to see and do.
The cost of apple picking will range depending on the amount of apples you pick but as an average bank on around $40 plus your gas.
Not a bad activity for the amount you’ll spend.
If you have ideas of something to do with newborns I’d love to hear them, also I may just give it a try myself and write about the expeerience
Well some of you may be wondering why write about this, isn’t it the mother that goes through pregnancy?
Well, I’m about to have a new born (again) at the age of 44, I am already a Dad of 2 young adults, a 20 yr old and an 18yr old, both boys, and I’m about to be a father again to my third child.
While many “older dads” to be, or men thinking of becoming dads after the age of 40 may be asking themselves so many questions, one of those questions may be “is 40 to old to be having kids? I can tell you I went through all the same thoughts and concerns most of you (dad’s to be) are likely going through right now.
After getting together with my Partner I came to a realization very quickly, that my partner will be wanting children, and her clock was ticking ( so to speak) & she really wanted to become a mother in her life, (at some point anyway).
My first reaction to this realization, & in-fact, my partner asked me, (before we were actually partners) weather or not I would ever consider having more children again?
My fist thought (and I verbalized this to her) was, HELL NO.
But many thoughts entered my mind following this question of hers, and over a period of many months. (Now take into consideration, that at the time, my partner and I hadn’t actually started a relationship with one another as of yet, and we were only just getting to know one another) after getting to know my partner better, and before we, decided to make our friendship a bit more than just a friendship, I revisited the idea (with myself) about the possibility of having another child.
After several factors taken into consideration I came to the realization that not only would I consider it, but if I were to have another child I would only consider one with, my now partner.
In-fact I grew to love the idea about raising a family with this woman, and eventually even wanted it myself.
Questions an older dad needs to ask himself before concluding, he is in a position to have, or start a family, after the age of 40.
1 financial –
You need to have a decent and secure job. Or have won the lottery, or, you’ll just a decent income of some sort.
Make sure you have a retirement plan, of course benefits help but not a necessity, it’s just a bit of security, which doesn’t hurt to have. In 20 to 25 years you’ll want to be retiring and you don’t want to put yourself in a position where you have no choice but to work for the rest of your life (if you can help it).
Although these questions are always a good idea, and important as a father entering into a family type of life style, especially as an older dad. This should be one of the questions you must answer to yourself, and be confident you will be able to financially support a new family.
2. Being mentally ready.
You must think to yourself, that mentally, are ready to tackle the responsibilities that come as a father, husband,? and can you mentally overcome any obstacles that will arise by being a supportive partner and father?
As a father you are not the one that has to give up your body in order to create another human, that’s true! However you must realize that all your freedoms, and independence you have, right now, prior to children, will come to a standstill.
All your efforts will take a 180 degree turn and all of your efforts will now turn to supporting your partner, her needs and wishes.
Mentally, you must prepare yourself for this.
If you have been in a previous relationship and have other children like I do, you must come to the realization that you are going to have to let your family in on your plans at some point. This includes, parents, siblings, and other children you may have, not to mention your close friends as well.
Be prepared that you may not have the support or reactions you were expecting from every family member, or friend , that you were hoping for. Count yourself lucky if you have the fairytale announcement your mind tells you it will be, but just be mentally ready it may not be all peaches and cream.
You may tell yourself that you don’t care what anyone else thinks, but the reality is, that most likely, you do care, and that others opinions, will actually matter to you, as they should.
Take others opinions to heart, listen closely. I’m not saying you have to do everything other people are telling you to do, or take all of their suggestions, but people that are sincere with you may be telling you things that you don’t necessarily want to hear, because they care about you, and they are probably thinking of the child’s best interests as well.
Before you start asking for people’s opinions tho, try to think of anything negative they might say beforehand, and see if what you come up with yourself, are things you’d be willing to change about yourself first, and even maybe change those things before you try starting a family.
For myself I needed to change many things about myself and my life.
For example, my credit was poor, & I mean piss poor, I was over weight, & I mean, like, crazy fat, I had health problems, like Diabetes, and high blood pressure.
I didn’t even really like myself as a person, Oh, & I had a hernia too.
All I was, was in love, and I wanted a family, (again) with this wonderful woman I was now with.
So with all of my problems, I asked myself “was I willing to change”? Well not only was I willing to, but I was even willing to change other things that my partner didn’t like about me that I never gave any thought to, like my snoring lol.
So, for myself, (and I believe the changes you make need to be for yourself, you cannot make life changes for anyone else, it must solely be for you)
I took it on myself to loose a crazy amount of weight, well over 100lbs, something I should have done years ago. I started getting my credit in order, and to date my credit is considered to be good credit, it’s not the best, but it’s in a good enough state now that I’m not worried about it anymore, and in fact, I actually have gotten a handle on all my finances now too. I unintentionally knocked out Three birds with one stone, by loosing all the weight that I did, I managed to completely cure both my diabetes , and my high blood pressure, Like completely disappeared.
I booked myself in for a hernia operation. It took 6 weeks for recovery, and then, I even got my sleeping disorder fixed
I had done almost all this before we decided to even try for children, or let others in on our plans. These things all take time, time that when your younger may not be too much of a problem to overcome, However as a potential older dad, these kind of things can be critical in your decision to becoming a future father.
By wanting to take care of another child I realized I’d have to be able to take care of myself first.
These are not just physical changes but you must overcome the mental part of the decision process to get yourself prepared.
Having children is a life style change, you need to be ready to do a complete turn around in your own life, and give your family everything you have, because it will take all the energy you can muster up to take care of them.
3. Be absolutely sure this is what you want for yourself.
Make sure that when you are thinking about creating a family with anybody that you are wanting it for the right reasons. Do not have a child just because you love your partner and you know it’s what she wants. Be %100 it’s what you really want as well.
4. Be aware
Having a newborn and creating a family with your partner is one of the best feelings in the world, this I know is true. But as an older dad even if you’ve had children previously. Don’t be a fool and think you know everything. It seems almost every day there are new medications, new do’s, and dont’s to parenting, new laws you may not be familiar with. Make sure to do your research.
There are so many (APPs) out there now and they are all good, but my advice is, to make sure to use them, they will tell you what to expect before things come to fruition. They help you cope with your partners pregnancy, and they will help you and your partner get through the rough patches by keeping you informed. If you are well informed then you will be better prepared.
For example I read prior to almost every stage of our pregnancy, for example,
“The dreaded, first trimester”. A-lot of women get extremely tired, as most of us know, but do you know why? I’ve had 2 children and never knew the reasons behind why my ex got so tired. Well now I do. The blogs in the APPs explained, that alot of women can get heartburn and feel nauseated in the morning and that certain foods will help her cope with this part of her pregnancy symptoms. So personally after work every day, and I would get off work at 1:30am, bed by 2:30am, my partner would need to be up by 5:30am in order to get ready for her job. So I was up at 5am, getting breakfast ready. Foods such as fruits and yogurt which seemed to relieve the nausea were a blessing, and by doing this, it allowed her to get her day started. If I did not do it, then it was a 50/50 chance weather she would make it to work on time, or even at all. This theory was tested ha ha ha,
So I did this for 3 months until the nausea subsided. But beware, this can go on the entire pregnancy so just be prepared.
4. The Apps I used during this pregnancy incase your wondering were the following
1. The Bump
2. Daddy
3. What To Expect
4. Baby kicks
5. Baby tracker
Number 4 & 5 I used only in the last 2 months of the pregnancy. There are some great articles along with tips and tricks that you’ll find in all these apps and I highly suggest using them.
5. being prepared for anything. And support your partner.
Prepare yourself to support your partner through the entire pregnancy, with everything. Even if you do not agree with everything your partner says or does. I’m not saying to lay on your back and let her walk all over you but keeping her calm and as stress free as possible, this allows your unborn child to be stress free as well. So be prepared to do everything you can to make her comfortable and as stress free as possible.
A baby born with less stress, is a happy baby, and happy baby’s will sleep and be less colicky. Believe me when I tell you, this is the best case scenario.
Be prepared that your efforts will go unnoticed. Being the dad in this pregnancy is a thankless job. Do not expect a break. It takes work to make sure the dynamic of your relationship runs smoothly.
Your partner will do and say things that hurt you and you need to shrug it off and continue to do your best.
Example: I worked around the clock to try and make my partner as comfortable as possible. One night, we were watching the tube and I leaned over to her and said how beautiful I thought she was. Her answer to me was this, as she started crying, she said, “she no longer found me attractive” As gut wrenching as that was in the moment, (I really was not expecting that) I had no choice but to laugh it off and I just asked her “if she would like me to make tea”
Remember her hormones take total control of her body and emotions, no matter what she says, remember she really does love you, just maybe not in every moment of every day, ha ha ha. Be ok with that, she will come around. For me I needed to remember that her body was changing drastically and she did not see herself as I do. Men will usually get even more attracted to their partner during pregnancy, as her body changes and grows, but many women (just plainly put), feel fat, and guess who they blame for that? (well you of course).
Be prepared that as you may be getting more excited by the day for your baby’s arrival, that your partner might just becoming more worried about every complication that can arise.
5. Complications.
Be prepared that there very well may be complications during pregnancy and although you may think you have done, or are planning to do, “everything right”, that things just may not work out the way you imagine. Any complication can be devastating to both you and or your partner. You must stay strong during these times and be there for her in every sense of the word. You must be her rock, when all you may want, is hide in a corner. This is the mans roll.
⁃ Be prepared, (during Covid times), with doctors ,
that during your pregnancy, and although you feel you should have every part the same rights as the mother to be, that as the father you will be looked at as nothing more than someone the doctors will use as a consoling pillow. You may not be allowed into the hospitals or midwife appointments, although the rules change daily, this will suck big time when you know your partner is going in for that first ultrasound, and gets to see your soon to be baby before you. Unless there is something wrong, you won’t know that everything is OK, until your partner comes out of the building, or, you get a call saying they will allow you into the room to see her. They only do that if they need you to console your partner , (during Covid anyway)
⁃ Be prepared for expenses getting ready for baby. Make no mistake about it, as much as you may believe that all baby needs is mom and dad when they are born, think again. There are many things a baby and you as new parents are going to need, and want. Try to remember there are big differences between needs and wants and you’ll need to figure out what these are between you and your partner.
Read up on these items. There are so many articles out there describing the differences, also because each family’s financial situations are so drastically different, I will not go into what ours were. But be prepared to spend some money.
6. Fitness
Are you physically fit?
I don’t think you have to be as fit as a professional runner, hockey player, or any pro athlete by any means. But do you think in the next 8 to 10 years you’ll be able to be in well enough health to be able to keep up with a few young children. Yes I said a few. Think In 5 years time, your bundle of joy wants to have a birthday party, he/she invites a few friends. Well of course that sounds great right? Well imagine 6 or 7 parents drive to your house and drop off their kids at your place, then leave. You are aware those other parents leave to have a nice day away from their children, or to have a spa day, or date day with their partner. Now you’ll have 8 rug rats for the day screaming and running all over the house, and guess who has to keep up to make sure they are not climbing on chairs, tables, laundry machines, grabbing a kitchen knife, or run out the back door, and down the street. All of this at once? That’s right. It won’t be mom lol. And then all the little rug rats want to go to the nearest park to play a game of TAG, and of course, “your it”. You’re the one running after 8 kids all day. Then when they are all picked up by mom’s and dad’s, time to rest right? Nope Wrong, you’ll be cleaning the house and probably have to make dinner for the family, do the dishes and get junior ready for school tomorrow, all before you have to leave for work at 4am , did I mention your sweet little bundle trips and needs a stitch just as your putting him/her to bed, yup off to the hospital for 4 hours back at 2am, no time to go to bed now it’s almost time to go to work, Think you can keep up? Lol.
Take into consideration, your partners physical condition as well, you do not want everything to fall onto your hands and responsibility, it is a team effort and your partner needs to physically be able to help.
7. Timeline
So for me I thought it was a good Idea with my partner to give myself a timeline for getting pregnant. I had a plan that I wanted a family with my partner after weighing in on all my musts.
Once I decided that it was a good idea then I said to myself and my partner that we need to have our child conceived before my 45th birthday. I thought that this would be “my” cut off date (45) I believed (for me), and everyone will of course have their own cut off dates that make sense to them, that I am in good enough shape to be able to keep up with a child during my 40’s and 50’s and then when our child reaches teen years I would be slowing down just as he or she doesn’t need me to be as active anymore. I only knew this because I already have 2 kids with my previous marriage and have the experience to know what to expect.
This gave us 3 years to try and conceive our child. Get mentally and physically prepared, Remember that just because you want to have a child and you think it’s what you both want more than anything in the world, doesn’t mean it will just happen when you want it to.
For us we got pregnant last year and it ended up not being a viable pregnancy, that’s right, we lost our first child. Be prepared for this, it’s a reality. Be prepared for a miscarriage. This will take time to heal, both physically, and mentally for both of you. This could add additional time to your timeline. I hope for everyone’s sake this never happens but it is a reality. It can damage the most strong of relationships. I find that this is a topic that has not been openly discussed in past years, it’s not until recent years that miscarriages have been more openly talked about. Did you know 1 in 5 first time pregnancies end up in a miscarriage? That’s a %25 chance of a miscarriage in your first attempt.
As a dad you are expected to be your partners rock through it all. Remember I said being a dad is a thankless job. I wasn’t lying. I was only allowed into the hospital to be told our child was not viable and had died. I was brought into the hospital to console my partner just before they gave us the news.
Afterwards, everyone is so upset for your partner and not one person ever says to the dad to be, that they are sorry for your loss. They only console the mother to be.
Yet you (the dad) are the one that is there for your partner, mentally preparing yourselves for months, sometimes years, you get excited to be having a child, and starting a family together, you are the one beside your partner through it all, then you have to be beside her witnessing her excruciating pain both mentally and while the meds kick in to do their job.
In our case neither of us were actually told what to expect after my partner was given a few pills to take to make sure she had extracted our unborn child. I apologize for the detail here but as an older dad this was something that happened and was absolutely shocking to say the least. This is something that I personally did not prepare for. However, if you happen to be in this situation, please be prepared.
My partner took what was prescribed by the doctors and sent home to do it there. You need to be prepared to watch your partner in excruciating pain on all fours extracting your unviable pregnancy all over the floors. The medications made her vomit as well. We were never told this may be the case nor that there were meds like Tylenol or Advil that help with symptoms, especially if taken prior to taking those pills. There were other options such as an operation my partner could have done instead, however the doctors told us that by going that route there is a small chance we might never be able to conceive afterwards.
Then You (dad) are the one that needs to clean up the mess on the floor and the one that has to make sure your partner is ok through it all. No one is there for the dad that has to be there through it all. But after all of this, her family and friends say to her they are there for her how ever she needs them to be, as if you, “the dad” are invisible. It’s ok tho, she will need support from everyone she loves and are close to. But silently you know, you are her rock.
Being a dad, and partner, is not an easy job in any way shape or form. My only advice is to do your research and get yourself ready in every aspect you can. There will always be things that come up you did not research but if you learn as much as you can, then you will be ahead of the game.
My partner and I also went through extensive health testing with (our now, soon to be here) baby during this pregnancy to make sure our child will be healthy as well. We did this because I did not feel I was in good enough mental state to take on a child with special needs as they need even more active parents and I felt I was not in that good a mind set or physical shape, to support a child of this nature. However I am also prepared that if for some reason all the testing is wrong that I am in a position and prepared to take care of our child regardless of his/her mental, or physical state, and financially as well.
Preparing to be a dad is a tireless job it never ends. And the funny thing is, you won’t want it to. You will want to do all the research you can because you have this uncontrollable urge to be the best partner and dad you can be for you, your partner and your soon to be child. You find your not doing all this work for recognition but because you love your partner and your family as it grows. That is your thanks. And it’s quite satisfying to be honest. It really gives purpose in ones life. Not that you didn’t have purpose before but this is quite an unbelievable feeling. Indescribable really.
Creating a family is also maybe the most rewarding feeling one can ever experience. The excitement is incredible, and the bond between you and your partner will become so much stronger than you ever thought possible.
These are just some of the questions a dad to be must ask himself before the decision to bring a life into this world becomes a reality.
If you think you are ready then I wish you the best of luck and I would absolutely recommend becoming a dad after 40. Lol
1 dads opinion 